nultygoestopartick

It is quiet here to day. I'm off out to visit a friend of mine who is in the Sufferin General Hospital over in sunny Govan maybe i will bump intae Rab C.

On the subject of female masturbation. Sure it's fine, equal rights there no problem, I used to have a girl friend who liked to ''scratch it'' but I thought she was overdoing it when her nose started bleeding.

People responsible for alcohol-fuelled crime and anti-social behaviour now face having new "booze Asbos" or ''boozebos'' slapped on them.
Drinking banning orders (BDOs) will be available to police and local authorities to protect the public from further drink-related offences.

Now fellow bloggers whats next ''Blogbos''.
In the past one or two of us have fell into the Belzibub of Bloggings trap, (could this be Old Nick) and PWP'd (posted when pissed)

It could be in the not so distant future people caught blogging when pissed and using swearie words or slagging off fellow bloggers could be charged with Breach of The Blog and be hit with a Blogbo which could lead to a ban and be stripped of any Bloscar awards that the Blogboed person may have won.

As Braveheart would say ''you maybe take our blogrights but you will never take our freedom''

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, Hey sweetheart if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.' She re...plies, 'If your cock is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 21.

Two old guys were in the pub one friday morning.One of them noticed something funny about the others ear. He said, "Joe did you know you've got a suppository stuck in your left ear?"

Joe pulled it out and stared at it. Then he said: " Thank fuck for that, I think I know where my hearing aid is.

New System Faults on Link up 2009

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications.She is now noticing that Husband 1.0 is also spawning Child Processors which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed her that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.Not only that, Husband 1.0 installs itself such, that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. She's finding that some applications such as SpendingSpree 2.4, GirlsNight 3.5 and CocktailNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).During installation, Husband 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-ins such as MotherInLaw 5.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.Some features she'd like to see in the upcoming Husband 2.0 include:1. A "Yes I'll cook, clean etc." button.2. An install shield feature that allows Husband 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.I myself decided to avoid the headache associated with Husband 1.0 by sticking with BoyFriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems.Apparently you cannot install BoyFriend 2.0 on top of BoyFriend 1.0; each program begins damaging the other. You must uninstall BoyFriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug that I should have known about. You'd think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now! To make matters worse, the uninstall program for BoyFriend 1.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.Another thing--all versions of BoyFriend 1.0 continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Husband 1.0.Bug WarningHusband 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Lover 1.1 before uninstalling Husband 1.0, Husband 1.0 will delete MS Clothing allowance files, before doing the uninstall himself.More applications that won't run with Husband 1.0 include Chippendale 2.0, Netballwatching 3.5, Suremoreshoes 6.0, and Cleanup 4.3.Applications that run very well with Husband 1.0, however, include Bummingaround 1.0, Pubnight 2.3, Golfing 2.7, Pokernight 5.3, and Wanderingeyes 4.9.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders hoose
Naw neither huz he.

On my stroll through life's ever twisting roads one or two people have attempted to analyse what goes on inside this silver hair covered napper of mine.

You know the type, the prodding questions, what makes you think this what makes you think that, have you read this have you read that.

Young or old I can tell them a mile away and I don't really have anything against the questions inquisitive minds are healthy.......it's just that they think I don't know what they are fuckin upto, it's as though they are trying to break in to my house when the door is open.

So after answering their questions I give them a wee warning, you might get inside my head but once you are in there it could well be that you can't get out and you might not like that.

Then I generally get a funnylook then they fuck off back into their lair.

Captains challenge.

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, answer the following questions. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. Repost as "my life according to (band/musician name)"

Pick your Artist:
Stevie Wonder

Are you a male or female
Harmonica Man

Describe yourself:
Very Superstitious

How do you feel?
Uptight

Describe where you currently live:
Village Ghetto Land

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Heaven is ten zillion light years away

Your favorite form of transportation:
Superwoman

Your best friend is:
My Cherie Amour

What's the weather like
Hotter Than july

Favorite time of day:
Lately

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?
Don't You Worry Bout A thing

What is life to you?
Living For The City

Your fear:
Innervisions

A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there`s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there`s somebody on top of it.

"Just put yourself in my hands for six months" "Come to me three times a week, and I`ll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A forty pounds a visit."

He said "I`ll think about it and let you know''

He called him the next week and said I don't need your help ya money grabbing bastard I'm cured''
The psychiatrist said''Who cured you, how much did he charge, and what was the remedy?
The barman at the pub at the corner of your street, he chargerd a tenner and his advice was to cut the legs off my bed."

In todays paper I was reading a column by one of those feature writers, Her sermon was about the dishonesty of peopple in public life.
She gave examples of politicians,lawyers, bankers, doctors and her point was that in years gone by were respected,honest.

I was almost in agreement with her till I saw the photo she used at the head of her colmn....oh dearie,deearie, your nose is growing sweetheart.

I am sure I saw this women in Glasgow city center last week or maybe it was her mother.

Journalists are just the same as politicians they are all it.

I have a mate who very much suits the description of the Glasgow hardman
and a right cheeky bastard to boot but he is very funny, one liners mainly but funny...........if you know him.

He was booking a flight in a travel agency to go to the Celtic V Arsenal match last week. The guy said to him ''How many people are flying with you'' He said ''how the fuck should I know it's your fuckin plane not mine''

Look at his feet it looks as though the clan got a hold of him and strung him up.

Last I was invited out for a night with "the boys". I told my Annie that I would be home by midnight as yoou do!

Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy after the pub we went to the snooker club. At around 2:30 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and coo clucked (it's more like a hen clock) 3 times.

I wasn't that pissed I knew she'd probably wake up, so I coo cluckeded another 9 times. The next morning Annie asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all....result!

Then she said she needed forty pounds to get the clock repaired.

I said what??????
She said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh for fuck sake," cuckooed another 4 times, farted, coughed, shouted oh ma fuckin finger, cuckooed another 6 times, and then flushed the toilet"

1. Did ya fart? 'Cos ya just blew me away!
2. Are your parents retarded? 'Cos your special!
3. My love for you is like diarrhoea. I just cant hold it in!
4. Is there a mirror in your knickers? 'Cos I can see myself in them!
5. Your body reminds me of a spanner. Every time I think of you my nuts tighten up!
6. You might not be the best looking girl in here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

The barmaids in Partick are calling Nulty Nulty help please come and helpp us....so I have put on the Supernultz tee shirt and i shall answer their call of mercy........Must dash.

I was just reminiscing back to my early teens and I started wondering was there a class for girls to show them how to move a boys hand off her diddy.
As I remember it there would be a wee kiss, then a longer one then I would pluck up the courage to put my righthand on her left diddy or more realistically, the second top bone of her duffle coat.just whenn you thought you had cracked it there was a light touch on your hand that meant you had landed on a snake and you were back to square one.

They all done it the same way, a slight touch that was all but it was like the latin mass, it was universal Parick, Rutherglen,Paisley and Clacton on Sea.

There one or two who must have been off on the day of the lesson but they were few and far between and the generally went with the good fighters.

So spill the beans girls who showed you.

''I don't care if you don't care, awight''
'' what ya mean you don't care. if you don't care, wight, if you do't care why are you on this show on national tewevision wight, yea, you see wot I'm sayin.

'' Well I care a bit, awight, but not a big bit like it was years ago last month, when I loved ya''

''What you don't love me now and you are carrying ma baby, Jesus I don't believe this''

''Well it might not be your baby''

''What, ya mean you been wiv somebody else''

''Na I didn't say that I ain't been wive nobody else evva I aint no cow but, but,but the lie detecta right, the lie detecta might say that I have when I ain't and you will fink that I ave then it won't be yours will it. What i'm sayin is if you listen you dumb bastid is that if the lie detecta says I been wiv some body else and I aint and you fink I have then your mum will be it's nanna but you wont be it's dad. So thats why, Jeremy, I don't care if he don't care cause he ain't worth caring about and he got red hair so..........................that's it.

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming,she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment there is silence. everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous! Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:
"Iron this and get me a can of beer''

A specialist is someone who knows more and more about less and less until he knows everything about nothing.

A General Practitioner is someone who knows less and less about more and more until he knows nothing about everything.

A pathologist is someone who knows more and more about everything until he knows everything about everything. But, too late.

Don't you think that grinding teeth make a much more relaxed bubbley noise when in a jar of sterident.
Just chill out, watch the bubbles dancing and move your tongue around the empty space in your gub and thnk of the days when the tooth fairy left you some money..........thats it nice and easy now look in the mirror and whisle are you smiling yet, relax........................

Tread gently on anyone who looks talks out the side of their mouth.
Have lots of long lie-ins.

Wear sturdy socks, learn to grow out of medium underwear and, if you must lie about your age, do it in the other direction. Tell people you're ninety-seven and they'll think you look feccking great.

Never eat food that comes in a bucket.

# Sleep with somebody you like.

Eat plenty of liquorice Allsorts.

Try to live in a place you like, Marry somebody you like and Try to do a job you like.
Never turn down an opportunity to shout out at the top of your voice.

Avoid bigots of all descriptions.

Let your own bed become to you what the Pole Star was to sailors of old.....look forward to it.

Don't wear tight underwear on aeroplanes.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.

Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question.

Don't pat animals with sleekit eyes.

If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.

Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swearie words.

If you write a book, be sure it has exactly seventy-six "f*cks" in it.

Avoid giving LSD to guide dogs.

Don't be talked into wearing a uniform.
Salute nobody.

Campaign against blue Smarties.

and never play with anthing that could take somones eye out

Annie has just come inwith a big smile on her face. she collected all her old broken jewlery, odd earings, broken chains aand burst bangles took them to a jewlers and came out with two hundred smackeroonies.

What are you waiting for girls............. get rummaging.

Why is modern day television called a medium?

Because it is neither rare nor well-done.
Because it is neither rare nor well-done.
Because it is neither rare nor well-done.
Because it is neither rare nor well-done.
Because it is neither rare nor well-done.
Because it is neither rare nor well-done.

Hi everyone I have been really busy this week and didn't have time to post I should be back on track next week.So.......... I was in town yesterday and I met an old pal of mine from years back We had a right good bevy and talk about old times.

He has a good job and a right few bob and is a good looking guy BUT he has no dress sense what so ever. You could spend thousands of pounds on clothes for him and he would still look as though he slept on a bench with the cloths on.

It's funny that, some guys can look smart in overalls and others well thy just aint got it.
I told him to bring his iron round and I would put a plug on it for him.

I had to laugh when I heard millionaire Tory, Shadow Leader of The House, Alan Duncan complaining basically that that the job was fucked.
''it is as though the job has been nationalised'' well I never thought I would agree with you Alan but as you are being paid directly from the public purse so that is exactly what it is, you prick!
It is all your other jobs that are are in the private sector.

A wee brickie turns up at work at half ten. The boss yells, “You should’ve been here at eight”

He said “How what happened?”

Then the boss came back at the end of the shift and said ''your fired''
He said ''but I never done anything''
The boss said ''thats what your fired for''

I was on the Helensburgh express train from Glasgow yesterday, it stops at Partick and then heads for Moneysburgh.

There are are alot of rich people who reside in Helensburgh but surely not everone on that train was a millionaire, yet as they glanced over their parapets,sorry, books, the look of superiority from the top of their drawbrige would be frightning to the untained Glaswegian eye...........but mine was trained I had seen this lot before, many times before when I commuted.

On a previous sortie on The Orient Express I had seen one open his fake alligator skinned brief case only to reveal a packet of shortbread, a Metro, a Geoffrey Archer that was all dog eared and obviousley second hand and packed of Tesco Salt n Vinegar I mean Tesco not even Walkers or Marks and Sparks,an apple and a Kit Kat.
No this lot were definitly all fur coat a nae knickers.

A game I like to play with this lot is to get on board then stand and look over the seating arrangement like an indian chief viewing the frightened members of the waggon train.

The bags come up on the seat the jacket comes off and goes on the opposite seat the foot goes up and their posture changes, the neck swells the head goes up and down from the book like a yoyo.
They waggons are definitly turned in a cicle.

They would do anything to stop you sitting beside them.What they don't seem to realise is that a big smelly fart whould suffice but they don't fart, do they?

The longer you stand in the overview positon the more aggitated they become. It is only two stops to Partick so after the first stop I walk along the passageway glancing like a ticket collector. The look of horror is like the slave looking up to the potential master the eyes are pleading please don't pick me please massa.Then I just make my way to the next door and just stand there and as I get off at my stop I can see look of fatigue on their big fat faces.

Another trick is to note someones seat,they all have their own seat. Then get there early and take the persons seat who annoys you most.When they get on the train steam comes out there ears they gesture to the people they have seen for years but have not yet spoken to and they gesture back with an ''awe thats a shame look'' you now the one head tilted and the sad face and I think to myself......... your next bub.

I can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door of the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -----------------------
Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir,20I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------

RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?' ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------

Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.

------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.

I was sitting here reading comments and arm went like my skull,numb.

I think I have that life threatning ailment.............Bloggers Elbow.
Has anyone else had this?
I know nick had it somewhere else on his anatomy a day or two ago but how he posts is his buisness.

I think it's time we opened our own pub for bloggers on here so what shall we call it?
What will we do in it?
What kind of drink should we have in it?
Should we have a stand up night, poetry night karaoki night?

A passenger airliner has just landed at Glasgow airport and after coming to a halt, the Pilot does his customary speech, but forgets to switch the intercom off !
The Co-pilot asks the Pilot what he has got planned for the rest of the evening, and the Pilot replies, "First up I am going for a shite and then I am gonna bang the arse off that new wee stewardess" Unaware every passenger has just heard him !!

The wee stewardess is mortified and starts to run up to the cockpit to confront him, but trips and falls right before the cockpit door.

A wee Glasgow wummin helps her up and says, "Take yir time dear, he`s goin fur a shite first"

Good news for Artic Tern. According to to days Daily Wail 400 Artic Terns on the isle of Mousa off the west coast of Scotland hadn't produced a single chick last year. This year 800 have produced 400 chicks It must have been some party................A hen night!

Eighteen police officers were used to arrest a gang of robbers in Dalkeith yesterday The police who had a underground mole in on the action arrested a family of five for stealing thirty four garden gnomes in the early hours of Monday morning.

The reaction of the sleepy town's population was varied some were happy some said it seemed a bit dopey.
A police spokesman said the long and short of it is that the low life who committed this crime are behind bar bars to night.

On Dennypoos's latest post he asked for suggestions on how to say no to the charity collectors, you know the kind in the high street with the clip boards.
This reminded me of something I done in Tenerife a number of years ago when The World Cup was on.
The time share people were everywhere you couldn't walk a hundred yards some days with out being accosted. So I made myself a red card and when the time share people came up to me waved the card and sent them off.
i think it was the third or fourth time I done it, at the church square the punters sitting down started to applaud me it was a laugh....if only I could have had a whistle.

Well I was out and about yesterday, up the toon I was and you will never guess who I was talking to...Smeato of the Airport Bombers fame.

I was standing at the bar of the Counting House and in he came right beside me. I looked, a kind of second glance and he said ''aye it's me ''
we swapped a few words about this and that and I said ''it must have changed your life'' he replied ''it changed their lives more than it did mine but yes it did I liked my old job but it was a job shifts overtime and all that shit. Now I write a thing or two for the Sun appear here appear there and get ten times the money I was making so I'm happy with that'' I asked him if he ever got the urge to pick up a case and throw it in a puddle or rip the handle of it, he said he did but he takes pills for it. Nice guy!

Jokes only understood in Scotland

A pregnant teenage girl phones her dad at midnight and says:
'Can you come and get me? I think ma water has broken'
'Okay,' says her dad. 'Where are you ringing from?
'Fae my knickers tae ma feet. '

What did the male Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography?
Oor Wullie.

After announcing he's getting married, a boy tells his pal he'll be wearing the kilt.
'And what's the tartan?' asks his mate.
'Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress,'

Ten cows in a field. Which one is closest to Iraq ?
Coo eight.

I read about and watched a few programs about Swine Flu, Spanish Flu, and Pandemics over the week end.
The Scottish Government are ready to start immunisation for Swine Flu for the elderly,infirm and the young in he next few weeks. It will involve giving two injections, for some reason there will be a gap of three weeks between the first injection and the second.

Is this happening down south?

Something tells me we aint heard the last of this.

I just called my Flyglobespan to book free carrage of my nebuliser on my flights to and from Tenerife, no problem all done nice and easy no what do you mean! or awe FFS.
I now have a wee bounce in my step, a wee It won't be long now kinda thing and that feels good darrrarararara so good so good that feels good!

Nults is smilin.

An old woman who went to the chemist's and asked whether this Viagra stuff she'd heard about was any good. The chemist said it was very good, in fact he said that used it himself. 'Can you get it over the counter?' she asked. 'Only if I take six,' he said."

Well that's me just cut the gras and I have a well deserved can of Mick Jagger by my lappy. I'm nackered to much booze not enough sleep and yesterdays booze is coming out of my skin in pints.
So a soak in the bath is what is required.

Have a good weekend guys.

A wee Glasgow woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, found it somewhat below normal, and asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.
'Breast fed,' she replied.
Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered. She did.
He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts for a while
In a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed he said, 'No wonder this baby is under
Weight. You don't have any milk !'
I know,' she said, 'ah'm only his Granny, but noo I'm glad I came son!

I have always thought Lib Dem MP Lembit Opik a bit of an arsehole but cheeky or otherwise he does seem to get the girls. Now imagine you came into a couple of bob and wanted a face job you take out the picture of Lembit and say I want to look like him..........the doctor would weech of your seat and drag you along to his phsyciatrist friend next door.

Even if you had never seen him and some one said in that room there are one hundred people one of them is called Lembit Opik you would pick him out no problem.he is one of those people who's name kind of suits him, if you know what I mean.

Imagine arguing with him, he has one of those faces one of those glakit smiles that even men would like to fuck him but not quite in the same way as the cheeky girl liked to.

Oh and an annagram of his name ''Bot Like MP''kind of suits him too.

Why I fired my Secretary.

Last week was my birthday
And I didn't feel very well
Waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
Hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!",
And possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
She barely said good morning,
Let alone
" Happy Birthday."

I thought...

Well, that's marriage for you,
But the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
And didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
And somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
My secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
And by the way
Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better
That at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
When Jane knocked on my door
And said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
And it is your Birthday,
What do you say we go out to lunch,
Just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !"

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
Where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
With a private table.
We had two martinis each
And I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?"

I responded,
"I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?"
She said,
"Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
For just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
After a couple of minutes,
She came out
Carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
By my wife,
My kids,
And dozens of my friends
And co-workers,
All singing "Happy Birthday".

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked

There once was a blogger called Palmy,
Who when talking fell out with his mammy,
He would tell her the news,Then spout out his views,
Then makes comments, that drove the old girl balmy.

Happy birthday mucker.

INFORMATION EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW........................

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE

Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify.. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE.
T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)
(i.e. It is sunny out today.)
R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediatelyand describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke -------- Stick out Your Tongue

NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue.. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.