I was late for work and the gaffer was raging. He asked me why I was late
I don't know why or where it came from but i told him i was running for a bus and a dog chased me bit the arse out my trousers so I had to go back and change them.

Well he started giggling and he couldn't stop he said I'm never asking you for an excuse again.

What is the best excuse you have made up?