Ever thought what a baby thinks when grown ups try to play with it, as auntie put's her delicate little pinky up to his face he is thinking ''that's like a dagger, and you say ''och, it's crying wee thing oh there's a wee smell he's done a Joby''
He's jobied himself alright ,himself because he thinks your going to hit him with with the big sharp thing with the red paint on it, or is it blood?

He is thinking ''I was safer in that big rubber tent'' then he hears the last thing he wants to hear ''oh come take yer granny'', ''he's thinking she smells of more piss than me and nobody even gave her a fright! Oh Jesus, she's going to drop me, oh don't hang my head over your shoulder I'm scared of heights and stop battering my back and saying there,there there.. where,where, where ?''look he likes it'' no I don't ya balmy old fool.

Then he looks at granny's eyes through the reverse side of her bifocals, it's like looking at two planets through the Hubble Telescope ooooooooh what in the name of god is that is like something out of doctor who! that oh put me down please put me down.i'll stop crying just put me down.

Then granny Say's'' do you think he looks like me'' and he 's thinking ''oh a hope not her face is like my arse when the nappy's just come off all wrinkled am I going to end up like that oh Jesus no.''!
Then mummy comes to give him his bottle he's thinking ''never mind pouring it on your wrist just give me the thing I'm starving, that's better, what are they all looking at Jesus I'm at my diner and there's a big ball face staring at me and she is stinking of anti rape perfume it's hard enough trying to get a breath holding this bottle it's longer than my arm, without her trying to poison me, naff this I'm going to pretend I'm sleeping''