Posts archive for: 24 May, 2008

  • nulty on a Wee joke while it's quiet

    by nultygoestopartick @ 2008-05-24 – 18:43:09

    I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.

    I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs You know the kind.

    So I'm in my room and figure, what the hell, I'll give her a call.

    "Hello?" the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.

    "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room & give me one - No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"

    She says, "That sounds fantastic .........

    ........... but for an outside line you need to press 9."

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  • Nulty on Anyone been to Dusseldorf

    by nultygoestopartick @ 2008-05-24 – 16:16:44

    For some reason or other Annie and I have always been tempted to go to Dusseldorf, we know nothing about it  Annie just likes the sound of it so  I am thinking of giving her a wee surprise.

    Any information would be appreciated.

    Dusseldorf or burst. Where the f**k is burst.

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  • Nulty on Happybirthday Jack Frost

    by nultygoestopartick @ 2008-05-24 – 12:47:20

    Now you can like me, see life through rose tinted glases.
    Have a good day Mate!

    aa

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  • Nulty on It's a cracker

    by nultygoestopartick @ 2008-05-24 – 12:07:42

    A guy dials his home phone number and a strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?"

    "This is the maid," answers the woman.

    "We don't have a maid," says the man.

    The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the lady of the house."

    The man says, "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"

    The woman replies, "She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband."

    The guy is fuming and says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make £50,000?"

    The maid says, "What will I have to do?"

    The man tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the hal cupboard, and shoot the wife and the guy she's with."

    The maid puts the phone down and the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"

    The man says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."

    Puzzled, the maid answers, "But you don't have a pool."

    The man pauses for a moment and says, "Ummmm… Is this 0141  944 7777.........................

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  • Nulty on The shape of things to come

    by nultygoestopartick @ 2008-05-24 – 11:21:09

    Bmi  customers can now check in  on line for flights, then pass through security using a bar code that is sent to their mobile phone when they check in.
    It is to be trialled on flights between edinburgh and Heathrow and Manchester (hope the screens don't go off) and Belfast.

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  • Nulty on Thursday Night

    by nultygoestopartick @ 2008-05-24 – 09:04:01

    I was in my local pub ,Granny Gibbs, yesterday and was told there were two tellys on for the football on Thursday night, one for the Celtic game one for the Rangers game.
    The games had gone for about ten minutes when the manager turned off the set with the Rangers game on. A roar went up from about forty mad Rangers supporters''wit dae you think your doing big yin'' ''Just thought I would remind you of Manchester'' was his reply

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  • Nulty on A wee Joke for the week end

    by nultygoestopartick @ 2008-05-24 – 08:47:35

    Ann Summers new vibrator for women is so realistic!
    Just before you reach a climax it cums, farts, goes limp, rolls over and then it switches itself off.

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